Britney Spears is reconnecting, face-to-face, with her son Jayden after years of not seeing each other, TMZ has confirmed -- but Kevin Federline is surprised to hear people calling it a full melting of their icy relationship.

TMZ has learned Jayden has seen Britney a couple of times recently since moving back to California from Hawaii, but as for a full-on reconciliation between them ... Kevin’s been left in the dark.

Kevin’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, tells TMZ ... "If there has been a reconciliation it’s news to Kevin." Mark adds that Kevin speaks to Jayden frequently and hasn’t been told about any kind of reconciliation between the 18-year-old and his mom.

Still, the fact Britney and Jayden are reconnecting is a step forward. As we reported, Britney had a call with her sons earlier this year to wish her a happy Mother’s Day.

We broke the story in September ... the original child support order in the Britney/Kevin divorce provided that child support payments would cease on the 18th birthday of Jayden or when he graduates high school, whichever is later.

For a while, Britney and her sons hadn't seen each other in 3 years. Last year Jayden and Sean Preston moved to Hawaii with Kevin and his wife, Victoria.